In our series, “Building Community Through The One Anothers”, we’re studying a unique set of short, formulaic verses found scattered throughout the New Testament which teach how the Lord expects his disciples to live with each other and treat each other in the Church. These 59 “one anothers” are a living picture of the Christlike life our Lord calls us to walk.
After the one-another of love, none comes closer to our Lord’s heart than that of serving others. In the upside-down world of true Christianity, the one who makes himself last will end up first, and the one who loses his life for the Lord and others will find it. “I am among you as the one who serves,” Jesus said, and his expectation was that we would follow his example (Luke 22:27).
But sometimes that’s easier said than done. When it comes to serving others, there are so many obstacles that can get in our way. Some are sinful, but many are just practical matters we need to address. Here are 10 common roadblocks we can encounter in our discipleship that may hinder us from developing a servant’s heart.
Reorganizational Need
In Acts 6 is a story about Jewish Christians in the early church who were overlooking Greek widows when it came to distributing church benevolence. Certainly sin was sniffing around somewhere in giving rise to this problem, but it wasn’t solved by Peter preaching a sermon against racism. The problem was solved administratively, by reorganizing the leadership structure of the church. For some, the solution for being able to serve more joyfully is a simple reorganization of your life. Like the apostles, you’re stretched so thin that you have no time to devote to the things that matter most. It’s not that you’re unloving; you just need to reorganize your life and schedule.
Our Own Pain
Some people are just too wounded to care well for others. Once Job heard of the loss of his fortune, then the death of his children, and finally his own health, he collapsed on the ground, and sat there in silence for days scraping at his diseased skin. I doubt that anyone from the Children’s Ministry rebuked him for not showing up at church to serve in his ministry for a good long while.
Assumptions
Assumptions are deadly to serving: assuming – if you’re the one in pain – that everyone knows about it; or assuming – if you’re not the one in pain that Somebody has it covered. (I’d sure love to meet this Somebody one day, because we sure talk about him a lot.)
So the next time a Voice whispers in your head, “I haven’t seen Frank in church for a few weeks; I wonder what’s up; I should call him,” why don’t you be the Somebody and respond to that Voice.
Dread
Fear can conjure up all kinds of reasons why we can’t help others. We tell ourselves, “Who am I to help out?” Or “I don’t know them very well.” Or “I wouldn’t know what to say.” Or “I’m no good at helping with that kind of problem.” Or “What if it turns out to be bigger than I can handle?” We must get over the fear of being in community, and step out in faith, hope, and love like the Bible tells us to (1 Corinthians 13:13).
Busyness
Finding margin in our schedules is not something we stumble onto by accident. “Gee, look at that! I have the afternoon off!” Instead, I have to go and create it. I have to say no to things. And understand the priority of things. Your golf date needs to take a backseat when your friend gets rushed to a hospital after an accident. If you put off serving, waiting until you have the time to show Christ’s love to a person, to cook that meal, make that call, pay that visit, serve in that ministry – then you never will. You know what BUSY stands for, don’t you? Being Under Satan’s Yoke.
Lack of Balance & Boundaries
There are those who have the spiritual gift of mercy, hospitality, or service. They’re wired by God to give and give and give, and never know when to stop. They want to save everyone, help everyone, pray for everyone. Maybe that sounds super-spiritual to you, but it’s not. Not having balance and boundaries in your life is toxic to your soul.
Jesus took time to rest after busy stretches of ministry. He understood the beauty of the Sabbath. He was purposeful about seeking daily fellowship with the Father to renew his soul. He didn’t use ministry as an excuse not to care for his family. He didn’t let toxic people rule his life. He didn’t try to heal or teach or meet the needs of everyone. He didn’t rush after people when they walked away from him. Today we would call Jesus “emotionally healthy”. We should be the same.
On Your Own
There are people in church life who isolate themselves, by only coming on Sunday mornings. Then later they complain that they never experienced community. One of our sayings here at BridgeWay is that churches must grow larger and smaller at the same time. We recommend two small group experiences here: being in a Life Group that meets two or three times a month, and being in a Journey group or “Triad “that meets once a month where you share with one another how you are growing – or not – in Knowledge, Fruitfulness, and Christlikeness.
Conceit
Pride snuffs off community in a big hurry. It’s pride that causes you to look at yourself and declare that you have it all together (sorry, but you don’t.) It’s also pride that causes you to look at others and declare that they’re foolish to be in the situation they’re in, they’re not nearly as smart as you are, and far be it from you to enable them by helping them out. Humility and grace – being able to honestly tell ourselves, “There but for the grace of God go I” – is the oxygen we need, to breath in the air of community.
Knowledge-Lack
It’s imperative for hurting people to not assume, or be fearful, or too isolated, or too prideful to share their needs with others. But bridging this lack of knowledge is also the responsibility of the wider body of Christ. We have to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to our church family and become aware of what’s happening in other’s lives. “Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,” Hebrews 10:24 says. To that end, we ask ourselves: Who’s been missing from church? Who’s going through marriage troubles? Who’s in grief? Who needs childcare? Who’s lost a job? Who’s got health struggles? Sometimes when somebody falls through the cracks, it’s our bad collectively.
“Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.”
Hebrews 10:24
Selfishness
Selfishness can be tricky. Philippians 2:4 says: “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Notice, it doesn’t say we ignore our own interests. But it does mean we put ourselves in the right place, where we humbly “count others more significant than yourselves” (verse 3). All our money belongs to God, but God doesn’t ask for all our money. All our time belongs to God, but he doesn’t ask for all our time. You need time for your family, for your work, but also time for yourself. It is the point of the Sabbath, to do things that replenish you and reconnect you to God. I’ve often wondered what it would look like if we gave a tithe of our time in service to God and others.
Questions To Wrestle With:
1. From this list, identify the top three roadblocks which get in the way of you serving as you should. What are they and for each one, write yourself a prescription of one thing you will do to get healthier.
2. If “Relationships over Busyness” is our goal, then how do we break the yoke of busyness from off our lives?
3. Take five minutes each day to pray through the BridgeWay Prayer List. Identify one person from the Prayer List and contact them.
4. Is there a ministry at BridgeWay where you’ve thought about serving, but haven’t jumped in yet? What’s holding you back?